sex

so my question is what is the big deal with sex. now granted i have had it on more than one occasion and for the most part it was good, not great but good worth the effort. now sex in a relationship either a dating or more commeted has the promise of for lack of a better phrase fucking it up. now again im not saying that i dont enjoy it cause i do, the thing that gets me is why people feel that their opiion on the subject should be the one that everyone follows and that i have decided that my views on sex have changed over the last 3 or 4 years with the experences that i have had and the ways that i have grown up. sex used to be just that or fucking witch as its palce mind you and sometimes you need a good fuck!!!i have never however made love, i would think to be able to do this that one would need to be in love???? well i think that the word LOVE is used to liberally and to often is said to get laid or make one feel better. i have said love twice, the frist time i was not old enought to know what love was! and the second i ment it with every fiber of my being. it will take one hell of a man to make me say it again, i have no problem waiting untill i feel that i am ready to have sex to do so, this may be a long time or a short time but i will be damned if people will tell me that i am crazy to not be doing it. we are not in high school, the every body is doing it is bull shit and i hostly have never followed the crowd and will not start now. sex needs to be specail and mean something and if you can have sex in the frist week and it be that than great for you, but for me i like to know who i am sleeping with and want it to be more than just a fuck at party. everyone has to do things their own way and i have no problem listing to other peoples opnions but damn it the reasons i do things my way may not make any sense to anyone else !! but they do to me and i am tired fof sex just being this random thing you do to get off that is what masterbation is for! i want to wait becasue i am scared, insucre with who and how i am, i dotn want to ruin a good thing. i dont want to be permiscous, i dont want hundredes of partners. and if everything happens for a reason that i will lump sex right in with that and say that when i am ment to have sex again i will. and to that end forepaly is amazing sometimes even better than sex, and when you get all heated up and horny it can get really interesting !! and sex may just come along and that is good for some and sometimes that can even be good for me . i dont want a realtionship that revoles around sex, i dont want that to be the only thing that we do ever. i want a real grown up realtionship and granted i know sex is a part and a larger one at that but it is not something i am willing to rush into, nor will i be forsed or talked into it. is it wrong that i would rather wait and get to know someone better than rush into something whatever blah i will have sex when im fucking ready to have sex ok is that a problem no its not !